Note to reader: this is the second past life regression that I experienced, during the same session I reviewed my life as Santorio (which you will also find on this blog). We start by floating on a cloud and asking to be deposited in a time and place that holds information needed for this current life. The opening scene is of course where the review opens for me. New scenes appear when I am asked to leave the current one and move to another day I consider important.
I am a gentleman in Victorian England. I am looking at the clock tower, checking the time against my pocketwatch to make sure my watch is right. Time is of the essence – I can’t be late. I am wearing a suit and bowler hat. I carry a fancy walking stick. I am on the street waiting for a carriage, which is late. I am annoyed that the carriage is late and when it arrives I wrap sharply on the roof of the cab, telling the driver to “Move it.” I am expected at the bank for a very important meeting; one that will ‘make us or break us’. I am seeking funding for a new style of community living – improved ideas for the poor – living in clean surroundings with garden space rather than dirty, crowded tenements. The rent will be reasonable, there will be lots of green space, the opportunity for vegetable gardens and keeping small animals – hens, etc. This gives people hope.
I dislike dealing with bankers; I find them so very greedy. I have never met a banker who was interested in the greater good, only in what profit could stand to be made from a venture. For them is is ALWAYS about the money. There are probably people who think I am one of the greedy because I am a gentleman. I am a successful business owner – a builder – but I am not out to be successful at the expense of other people by paying them the least amount possible and expecting them to work 16 hour days and live in squalor.
As I could have expected, the bankers are not on side with my ideas for this new type of community and the meeting does not go well. However, as I’m leaving the bank I run into a gentleman who IS interested in my ideas. We strike a deal there on the spot as he agrees to underwrite the project, although it will be on a smaller scale than what I had drawn the plans for. However, he too sees the value in giving people the opportunity to improve their lives, the hope that happier and more relaxed home lives will lead people to be more productive at work as well – giving them a leg up on the scale of independence and dignity. Everyone deserves to feel they are important, everyone deserves the opportunity to have a clean and warm home. Well, as clean as can be expected, given that we heat the entire country with coal and the smoke coats everything it touches.
The first phase is complete – decent sized apartments in handsome red brick buildings with front gardens and vegetable plots in the back gardens! There is a band and a huge party – people are moving in today. I am so very pleased to see all the activity and the joy on people’s faces. The mayor is in attendance as well the families who are moving in; there is a prince in attendance as well! I am glad of the attention this is garnering as I am certain that it will spur us on to more projects, that funding and other backing will be much easier to obtain. There’s a lot of glad-handing going on but that’s alright – I don’t mind being in the spotlight or receiving pats on the back. I don’t need it but I do appreciate both and financial support is always appreciated so this serves a purpose – increasing awareness. These apartment buildings are really only the start. My long term dream and vision is to include schooling here too, right through to a university – a complete community! The university’s most important mandate will be to educate those who would never be able to afford attending higher learning otherwise. The bankers are still snubbing me but it’s alright – I no longer need them as I have other financial supporters.
I see Queen Victoria! I am at a presentation where “Meritorious Service” awards are being given out by Her Majesty and I am receiving one. I feel really good about receiving this award as it means that my vision and work are recognized and appreciated by others. There are a number of other people also receiving awards and there is a lovely reception – many family members present for the recipients. I have only a nephew, Jonathan, for family. He is present at the gala and also works with me in the business. I expect he will take over the business. He is young and recently married; no children as of yet. I am not married; have never been. I have always been too busy with the business to take on the added responsibility of a wife and family – wouldn’t be fair to them as I am seldom at home and to be honest, I never had much interest in women. Or men either. I have a small apartment at my office to save me the bother of going home some nights when I am burning the midnight oil.
I see fireworks – another celebration. This one does not involve me, I’m just watching from the second story balcony of my house. It is the centennial celebration of a military unit. The park (the square) is open on one side with stately buildings on the other three. There are mature trees and a fountain in the square. It’s either early spring or late fall – there are no leaves on the trees but the grass is more green than brown. I am enjoying the sights and sounds – military band music and a tattoo. I enjoy watching “pomp and circumstance”, and people. I am feeling my life has been well lived.
(New scene – last day of my life)
I am at home in my large four poster bed. I am not well. I have been confined to a wheelchair of late (uncomfortable contraption!) and have difficulty breathing – I now have pneumonia. I am 82 years old. My housekeeper, Mrs. Hadfield, is tending me – we have been good to each other and I am remembering her handsomely in my will – this house and a very comfortable sum of money. Mrs. Hadfield washes my body and then my nephew Jonathan calls for the undertaker. They remove me to their establishment for final burial preparations. I am dressed in my tuxedo – I always liked a good suit and took pride in my appearance. My top hat and my walking stick lie on top of my casket. I never needed the walking stick, I simply liked to carry it – the image that it projected. The service is in a large church – a cathedral? Many people come out to pay their last respects. I am buried in the cemetery outside the church. There are many Browns buried here. I am at peace.
What is the reason I was shown this lifetime? “Much good she can do. She knows that she has done much good in her current life but always there is the feeling she can/ “should” be doing more. That is not realistic – no one Being can do all that she sees/feels needs to be done. This life is to remind or show her that there is only so much “one” can do, no matter their situation or resources. “One” can start, but many hands/souls must join in – it is not her responsibility alone.
I am always curious about how I could possibly validate the lives I have lived and for both this life of Mr. Brown and the life of Santorio I received some validation in December 2018. In Santorio’s case, I was channel surfing TV one night and a beautiful scene was being shown on a channel as I was flipping through – I had to stop and admire the view, and my immediate thought was that the hilly coastline and ocean was stunning and exactly what Santorio saw when he stood on his front verandah when he was stationed in the Naples area. Lo and behold, the narrator named the location – Naples, Italy.
In the case of Mr. Brown, I recently read a novel set in Victorian England. Imagine my excitement to read that there were many individuals and organizations actively pursuing ways and means of improving the lives of England’s working poor and destitute. Added to that – knowing that novels often weave fact in with the fictional, once finished the book, I chose a couple of names and random and Googled them. Sure enough – the name that resonated strongly with me throughout the novel (for no reason that I could discern), that of John Ruskin, was an easy find. And one of the things he is most remembered for? His work aimed at improving other people’s lives. In fact, his work continues to current day in the organization he founded – the Guild of St. George – an educational charity founded in 1871! Writing this thrills me as much now as it did to discover it.